Angeline Koh

My grandfather was the head of our family. I went with Mummy to see Kong Kong when he got really sick. I waited outside his room.

I had become a follower of Jesus and I wanted to tell him… I wanted to tell him… I wanted to tell him so many things. I wanted to go in to see him. No one asked me to.

Then he died.

At 17, I learned that people die.

I learned that this commodity called time runs out at some point.

When I was born, my Kong Kong gave me the  name Angeline, or Messenger of God. I never knew why he gave me that name or if he believed in God. He left with me with my name as a legacy when I was born.

At 17, he left me with another legacy, the conviction to live life well and to live up to my name.

A phrase that keeps coming back to me is:

“Angel, what’s YOUR story?”

I’ve lost my own voice in the midst of helping others tell THEIR story.

The Lord led me to spend time on Isaiah 40-66 during the tail end of my time in the USA. It’s safe to read it in a detached way. God wants me to deeply interact with him as he talks about himself. Who is he TO ME? What is my story with him.

I am officially out of a job beginning 1 September 2010. I took a big leap of faith leaving my job of 20 years to venture into something I stumbled on to and fell in love with – to teach people to tell their stories (digitally).

It seems a good time to reflect on my last 50 years as I to look forward to the next half of my life.

Today marks the mid-way of my 47-day journey through the USA.

The “work” part is about to begin as I meet Au this evening in Denver to prepare for our training workshop, and teaching sessions in Colorado Springs.

I have been so blessed through the generosity of friends and relations that have been hosting me at their homes. What a lovely way to see the country.

Here are some highlights

Friends in San Francisco

Brannan Island Campsite (My first experience I think)

Pigeon Lighthouse, California

Elephant Seals at Ano Neuvo

Lombard Street, San Francisco

My new friend Scotty who introduced me to his stuffed hippo

Typical house in East Dundee

Typical house in East Dundee – like a scene out of an old Western

Standing on a glass ledge 103 stories above ground – the Sears Tower, Chicago

What a treat I had today. Our friend Katya took us to the Pigeon Point Light Station, Año Nuevo Light Station, and then a lovely drive through Santa Cruz.

A highlight for me was watching elephant seals sprawling all over the Año Nuevo beach. It was a good two mile walk each way just to get close enough to see them. The walk took us about one and half hours each way. Tiring but certainly worth the effort.

Besides lots of interesting information, the ranger told us that the elephant seals shed their skins, renew and heal themselves just by doing nothing but lying still. They don’t have to do anything she said. Amazing.

It’s one thing to blog about the things I am doing, another to blog about the journeys of the heart. The latter is far harder to talk about.

The people of Israel saw the deeds of God but it was Moses who understood his ways (Psalm 103:7). Elijah, the prophet of God who saw great victories on God’s behalf became afraid at a woman’s threats. Afraid, he ran for his life into hiding. He who called rain and fire from heaven ran away! He sat under a tree and asked to die.

God nursed Elijah from his tired journey by giving him sleep. The first gift that God gave me on this trip was sleep. No doubt many victories have been won, many things accomplished. But each heart knows its own sorrows, and I have come away with my share of wounds, grieves, hurts, disappointments, anger, rejection. It is part of being on this side of eternity.

I didn’t realise how tired I have been, wrapping up work, passing on responsibilities to my replacement, teaching three workshops, tying up lose ends, administration, meeting and ministering to people, preparing for this trip… making painful, major life changing decisions.

Sleep has not come to me easily. My mind has been like the remote of a TV control – switching from one channel to another. I was very surprised (but thankful) I just kept sleeping and sleeping.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. – Psalm 3:5

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. – Psalm 4:8

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves. – Psalm 127:2

Psalm 131

A song of ascents. Of David.

1 My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore.

Indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. – Psalm 121:4

Au and I arrived safely after flying for some 20+ hours. Just had gathering with some friends. We are excited!

I hired some Bollywood actors to help me deliver this important message to you. Now turn up your speakers and enjoy. LOL.

I turn 50 this year. I still don’t know how that happened. I saw people riding motorized bicycles – and wooo… there I go, I bought me a bike and sped along the coastal East Coast Park with the wind blowing hard in my face. I had to sell it off eventually, but well, that’s another story.

I want to snug warmly in my little nest, but a part of me still thinks there’s another adventure waiting to be journeyed. I had a crazy idea to go to  Thailand to help the tsunami-hit victims. I thought I was crazy, but then 10 other people crazier than me bought into my dream and went with me! We LOVED it.

I collapse each day, my body telling me, “Hey girl, you’re not that young any more.” My graying hair and my body aches won’t let me forget.

But I wake up in the middle of the night with yet another idea, yet another plan, yet another dream.

I turn 50 this year. I had to wait 50 long years get here! I did something very special to celebrate my year of Jubilee… I dug a big hole in my little life’s savings. Not very smart for one who should be planning for retirement. I dumped a chunk of it to run after yet another dream… to tell stories, to help others tell stories.

I finally got our website up. Recently, Au and I initiated a new Digital Storytelling enterprise. We are excited about the opportunities open to us.

It’s been a big step of faith, launching out into the unknown. Some of the challenges can sometimes feel daunting. Had I all the facts, I might have chosen to stay in my safe zone. But, well I am here now. The grace of God has more than matched the challenges I face.

This past week, we are teaching our second batch of primary five students. One of the joys for me is seeing a shy girl come out of herself as she threw herself into making a digital story. Yesterday I quietly watched her.

We had asked the girls to take their turns to read out their scripts in front of the class. This 11-year-old was whimpering, nervously giggling, hiding her face behind her script.

Yesterday, while her classmates were out for a break, I saw her go to their computers one by one, put on the ear phones, adjust the microphone and read their scripts. She read it complete with  clarity, complete with expression! She didn’t know I was watching her. My heart celebrated.

Today, a classmate of her didn’t turn up for the class. She took over and put together her friends video after she had completed her. God knows how a technical workshop like this could bring a stirring of a young life to dream and to pursue their dreams.

The girls wanted us to come back again so they could make more stories!