Here’s an article I wrote sometime in early 2000.

A few days ago, I woke up feeling really down, discouraged and depressed (yes, we missionaries and full-time workers do have those days too.) In fact, I felt so low that I told the Lord, “God, why don’t You just take me home?”

As I laid in bed, God said to me, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”

I brushed the thought aside. Reluctantly and lethargically, I got out of bed to get dressed for my 11 am medical appointment at the hospital. I had taken a day off for a routine check-up. Just as I was about to leave home, Lena my office colleague called. Someone had responded to Nav News, a newsletter that I put together for our organization, The Navigators. Lena wanted to know how she should respond to the enquirer. As a writer, we often do not see the end result of our ministry. I perked up a little at the thought that someone had been ministered to by something I had written.

Then God said to me, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”

I rushed off thinking I would be late for my appointment. The call had set me off schedule. In the bus, I met a man who I had very briefly made acquaintance with two months ago at a Christian Leadership seminar. He said that he had been quite desperate to meet me and had prayed that the Lord would allow our paths to cross again. He knew from our very brief encounter that I was a writer and said that he wanted my help with some articles he was trying to put together.

“Ok God, You’re starting to get my attention. If I had been on time, I would not have met this man. Could it be that You’ve allowed me to be late for my medical appointment just so that I would meet him in answer to his prayers?”

Then God said to me, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”

I got to the hospital in a huff and puff only to realize that I was one day early for my appointment! “Ok God, You must really want that man and me to meet. Now I have three and half hours before my next appointment, what will I do from now till then??”

“Ah yes, of course, I need to go to the bank.” This meant a change in the route that I would have originally taken. In the bus, a middle-aged man who sat beside me asked me for directions as he was uncertain where to get off. This led to a conversation and I was very naturally directed to talk about my relationship with Jesus.

“This is a really weird day God, now You’ve changed my route just so that I’d meet him…” As the man got off the bus, God said to me, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”

After the bank, I decided to pick up lunch. The thought of enjoying it in the comfort of the air-conditioned fast food joint was really attractive but for some strange reason, I found myself walking into a nearby hot, stuffy and crowed coffee shop. I was seated alone when a couple came up to ask if they could sit at my table. I looked up only to realize that it was Yvonne, a lady whom I had met at a church where I had been invited to speak at two Sundays earlier. She and her husband (an elder of the church) expressed thanks for ministering to them.

“This is a really really weird God…”

Then God said to me, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”

I got all my errands run that day but God was not finished with me yet. It started to rain heavily just as I got off the bus to go home. As I did not have an umbrella with me, I decided to have a drink at the coffee shop by the bus stop while I waited for the rain to stop. While sipping my hot Milo, the Rojak stall lady came and sat at my table (there were many other vacant tables around) and initiated a conversation with me. “I don’t believe this!” I thought.

It was a casual conversation but still I was amazed that someone would be interested to initiate a conversation with me… “Ok God, it took the apostle Peter three times before You could get through to him. It’s taking me six!”

You guessed it. Then God said to me once again, “If you don’t want your life, give it to Me. I have use for it.”